The farm had an orange glow from the sun set. I held my fathers attention, and hand, in what felt to me like a true Lion King Moment. As I heard the opening theme song in my head (whose words probably only the writers know but I will try to recreate) nnnnnnyyyyyyyaaaaasssshhhhhiiiinnnngwwennna bla bla bla
my father said in his deep Zimbabwean accent, “mwana wangu (my child) you can learn how to be a better person even in a math classroom”
My father, ever the professor, was trying to justify why I had to take math lessons instead of playing outside with the other kids over the holidays but he imparted a life lesson also. I’ve taken this lesson to heart lately and as I read over my new economics novel written by one of the greats, Alfred Marshall. i’ve marvelled that one of his philosophies explains the dating world for women. Indulge the nerd in me and listen:
Marshall attempts to describe desire, which he refers to as wants.. He states, “in a healthy state, new activities pioneer the way for new wants.” By “healthy” he is referring to a normal average mind. And by new activities his examples are attaining a larger house, a faster car. He argues that in fact, the more you have or the higher your standing, the more you want. Worse as he later explains, “improvement brings with it a desire for variety” or as I like to say, the more you have, the more you want better quality.
It hit me this week how it applies to dating when my friend squealed with excitement “Oh my Gosh! Darrell and me are getting serious. He asked me to move in with him. I’m so proud of him” and then, in the same breath she praised her boyfriend, she said “I just wish he’d propose already” AH! Suddenly I sympathized with every man whoever said women are demanding. I’ve seen my friend and Darrell progress, him asking her to move in was an absolutely astonishing step forward for the guy who thought McDonalds was an excellent first date. Instead of enjoying the moment, she had already moved on to her next want. How is poor Darrell meant to catch up??
Like Marshall says the “healthy mind” does this. My friend is not abnormal. In fact I often find myself doing the exact same thing with my boyfriend. I complained that we needed date night. Once being granted date night, I complained that I need a chill movie night, once granted that I proclaimed I would like a night to just talk. At this my boyfriend lost patience and said “either we talk on date night or we talk on movie night! Or if you prefer we talk only on that night” This is why i’ve separated men from my analogy. When it comes to emotional desires, they are easily satisfied. My boyfriend feels little need to continuously talk to me about his day, neither does he think our relationship has changed if he says I love you once a month or once a day.
So the question becomes how do women become satisfied?? Simply put we don’t.
To put it in a lighter note, Marshall and I have not reached that far in our theory!