“i’m not crazy, my mother had me tested” to those of you who aren’t extreme Chuck Lorre fans or Big Bang Theory enthusiasts, that is the line the quirky Dr. Sheldon Cooper from the hit comedy show repeatedly says when his friends give him the “you’re crazy” look in reaction to one of his undeniably crazy moments. After i let out a squeal of laughter and wipe away my tears – to those that haven’t watched the show, yes it’s that good- I realize I envy Dr. Cooper!!! not because he’s super brainy, definitely not because he’s socially awkward and not because he has absolute confidence in his lack of madness while I on the other hand have many doubts – doubts that come up when every time i think a guy’s cute, my friends give me the ” you’re crazy” look, or when i laugh at someone’s mispronunciation of a word then realize no one around me is laughing because ONLY IN ZIMBABWE is the norm to ridicule someone for a slip of the tongue instead of blame it on the accent, i digress – i envy him because he has the patience to articulate his feelings to a group of puzzled faces, as many times as it takes for them to understand!
i’m one of those people who when you piss me off, and i try explain, i end up crying
i’m one of those people who wants you to know that you pissed me off without having to tell you
i’m one of those people who craves a pat on the back but feel too humble and shy to openly say “that beautiful stuff right there, yea that shit was me.”
i’m one of those people who wants to ask for help but can’t stand the look of pity that comes with the help
and because i’m like that, I HATE SAYING IT TWICE! because now u’ve made me think i’m crazy because you don’t get it. I just need you to get it.
Get that when i’m being moody – don’t call me moody
Get that if i’m broke- i can’t go out to eat
Get that if i say I can’t – I can’t, stop asking
Get that when I’m angry – hurtful and untrue things slip out of my mouth – don’t hold it against me
Get that when i go quiet, you’ve hurt me so much, i don’t want to talk about it, but i need to hear that you’re sorry
Get that if I love you – its harder to forgive you
Get that when i’m wrong, i don’t wanna hear i told you so, i NEED to hear you believe its still going to be okay and you’re proud i stood my ground, even if my stubbornness is infuriating.
I just need you to get it, or act like you get it!
BECAUSE I’M TRYING TO GET YOU, and what you don’t get is, it hurts when you don’t try.