Monthly Archives: July 2012

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nelson “madiba” “ntate africa” was not my hero because he ended apartheid, and helped millions of people.He is not my hero because he is an intellectual and his grandpa voice makes me calm and satisfied. He is not my hero because he was the first black prime minister and a visionary or because he gave his life for his country. while these are all traits i admire about this amazing man, the reason he is my hero is because of a few words he once uttered the words of the amazing writer Marianne Williamson¬† and his velvety voice replays in my mind so often :

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

 

these words describe every bone in my body. I fear greatness, and yet I yearn for it. I look at everyone around me and think how amazing they are and yet I never think that of myself. the fear, like any other fear, holds me back, makes mutes the shouts that yearn to come out of me. whenever I feel a yell ready to burst out of me, my heart puts on that familiar record that i know every song to, “you’re not that amazing,” it whispers, “you havent earned the right to pat yourself on the back.” “you have to keep moving, that was the easy obstacle, not worth celebrating”

My heart did the same when it came to blogging, told me I wasn’t interesting enough, didn’t have enough fashion sense, enough computer skills to make a webpage look appealing. It stopped me from trying. But now i realize my blog is my chance to say:

” I AM AMAZING! I AM SOMEONE YOU WILL ALWAYS SAY YOU HAD THE PLEASURE OF MEETING! I AM AN ELEPHANT, HEAD HELD HIGH, TRUNK HELD UP TO THE SKY, BLOWING MY TRUMPET, DANCING TO THE RYTHM OF MY LIFE! I AM AMANDLOVU!”